The child Delivery

To marry woman no be the problem. The problem is when she ends up carrying your first issue. Let me gist you my story, oya continue.

It was already nine month, and i was happy that finally the baby was coming and the crave for things and suffering would soon end. At nine months my wife started to crave for attention. I will wake up at night to press her legs, waist , Bumbum. I swear life was not easy.

'Ah baby press here. No my bum bum. Press it hard. no go to the waist, oya press it. Press it again. Harder,  no na it's too hard ,i mean slightly hard. ' that was how I learnt how to massarge a woman very well. I had learnt that during Ada pregnancy.

She had a special paint rubber by the bed side. I woke up in the morning to discard the filled up saliva she had to spit like snake every night. I never knew a woman tongue could produce half a bucket of saliva in one night. I was seeing magic in front of my own very eyes.

Nine months one week, my wife suddenly developed mood swing, and hot temper. She shouted at me if I wore any how body spray and passed her.

 If I put too much salt in the rice, am In trouble. She would start crying and blaming me for impregnating her. I understood she was pregnant , I had to pet her like a baby. (Pregnant Women and mood swing Sha)

A week later , I was at work when I got a call that my wife was in Labour and was being rushed to the hospital by my gateman.

'Oga your wife just the course you since. Oga the way she the course you now, if I be you I for park my things the go malaysia.'

I got up and ran out of the office. My office people thought I was mad but they wouldn't understand.

I got to the hospital ward and was directed to where my wife was. They had just arrived and was waiting to be taken into the Labour room.

'Praises you are a stupid man. See what you are making me go through o. See what you have put inside of me o. Only my God in heaven will punish you for me. He will cut off that small thing in your trousers for me. '

Every body started begging my wife, telling her that it was not my fault. Those that could not beg, were just busy looking at me.'

'Ewooo! Why did I have sex o. See get ready, you will use condom next time. Chimoo'  my wife kept shouting.

'How is it doing you ' I asked. I was a learner after all. This was my first time.

'Its doing like Jackie chan o, this baby is fighting kongfu in the stomach ' my wife said shouting.

The doctors and nurses rushed in with a stretcher and I was happy they were going to take her into the Labour room and my ears would rest a little. But instead , my wife dragged me by my shirt.

' You are not going anywhere. Idiot , you must follow me o, doctors open the door, he must come inside, after all I didn't impregnate my self.' I started sweating , I nearly urinated in my trousers.

In other to avoid embarasment, I had to follow her inside. It's been thirty minutes inside the labour room , and am now a father of twins. Two bouncing looking boys.

One of them smelt like Onions, and the other one smelt like poo. I collected the one that smelt like Onions. And handed the doctors the other one to bath him. Last last God has shown me the child who craved for onions and poo smell. Let them grow, they will hear gist.😂😂

Back home. My wife is now telling me sorry for the embarrassment in the hospital. She claims the pains was just too much.

I respect every mother in the house ....
May God keep you all.
Amen.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

My name is Praises Obiora, am still the best at what I do.

#Happy_new_week.